Here's a video of my trip to Mahasarakham. :)

Check out the videos that I just posted. I still have a few more I'd like to put up--a video from Mahasarakham, Marcia and Kayla's visit, and videos from the concerts.

In other news, I just found the iDVD program on my MacBook. Well, I knew it was there, but I never really worked with it. But, with it, you can create a really cool DVD. I am going to create a DVD with all of the videos from the trip. I'm very excited about it--a new toy to play with!

One of my very best friends from college came to visit me. She is also in Southeast Asia, and needed a vacation. We had a great time, as you can see from the videos.

I forgot to post these here! These were the final performances for the small ensembles class. You can tell that they really enjoy performing like this! And there's a special performance from me. We put together an ensemble on the fly. I really enjoyed singing with them! The guitarists are Kajohn (head of the Dep't of Music) and his friend, whose name escapes me at the moment. He - the friend - also plays drums, and he and Kajohn play in a band together every evening in a restaurant. Enjoy!

So, I have been back for a few weeks now. I stayed at home for a week, and then I made a trip to Plainfield High School and a stint out to Missouri to look at Northwest Missouri State U for their grad program. And now, I am hanging out at ISU for the week.

ISU gave a concert in Indianapolis on the Friday I was at Plainfield. It was the first time I'd seen anyone from ISU. I was very happy to be reunited with my ISU family, but felt very overwhelmed. I still have some processing I need to do, and it was made clear to me that evening.

I have talked with Kurt Baer several times, former Thai traveler and fellow ISU student. We have reminisced about the food. Oh, how I miss it. I'm having a harder time adjusting to eating American food, which I have eaten my whole life, that I had adjusting to Thai food, which I only started consuming when I arrived there. Bleck. American food. :)

Incidentally enough, a group of high school students and teachers from the demonstration school at SSRU are visiting the States for two weeks, and are at ISU for this week. I have been with them a couple of times now. I can only imagine how they feel right about now. They still have jet lag, and they have been whisked around for two days now, overloaded with tons of information. I'm sure they are ready to go home now, but no relief is in sight for quite some time. One of the students told me that the plane ride was so long and he watched the same movie four times.

On the upside, I'm told that it's 41 degrees Celcius right now. SO hot! I guess I left at a good time!

I hear also that the situation with the Red Shirts is growing more dire. The Yellow Shirts are threatening to come out if the government doesn't dissipate the Red Shirt movement. I hope my friends in Bangkok are okay.

I have watched the DVD of the choir concert several times since I have returned, and I am so proud of the music we made. The students worked really hard. The "Danny Boy" piece was no obstacle for them, but "Daniel, Daniel" (Urstein's arrangement) was a stretch for them, which is great. I really pushed the boys in their unaccompanied "Blow the Man Down," but they truly rose to the occasion to accept the challenge. For them, it was about applying what they've learned in theory and skills classes to reading music. And for the ladies, their final performance of "The Water is Wide" was their best. Some of them were new to choral singing, but they did a wonderful job. And, more importantly, I think they will continue the chorus. I sincerely hope they do!

For me, I had the chance to apply all of the neat choral tricks that I've learned, like voice matching. Voice matching is fun. I've probably said that before in a previous post, so I won't go into great detail about it--but all I can say is, "Rober Shaw WHO?" I'm totally just kidding about that. But I'm not too shabby at it!

I miss Thailand very much and I wish I could go back. I think I will eventually. Maybe not in the near future, but someday I will go back.

In the mean time, I have been applying for jobs. WOO! Tons of fun. :) As much as I'd like to do... well, nothing, for a while, I realize that jobs don't wait for people to decompress. Being at ISU and back in a familiar environment has helped some. I'd like to go camping for a week, just by myself, with only a journal and some way to listen to music, but, alas... I don't think that will happen anytime soon.

And, in the mean time, I will compile several photo videos, and I may post the videos from the concerts at SSRU and Thammasat.

I wrote this while sitting in the airport in Tokyo. It's a long one, so make sure you have plenty of free time.

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I’m sitting in Narito Airport in Tokyo, Japan. Thailand has come and gone. I’ve been so busy in the last few weeks preparing for the concert that I don’t think I’ve taken any time to really sit down and process my experience. That may have been subconsciously intentional. I have a hard time saying goodbye, and this time was no different.

That said, a little detour to say that the concert was great. The students totally blew my expectations out of the water. They worked really hard and, in the end, you could tell that they really enjoyed themselves. I think they are going to continue the choir—I mean, they started it because I came. This was the first choral concert that SSRU has ever worked on. I feel totally blessed to have been apart of the inaugural group. Expect videos soon.

I also want to say how impressed I am with how they handled the logistics of the concert. I don’t know exactly how to put it in words. If you’ve seen a Thai concert before, you know what I mean. I mean, they went out and got flowers and arranged them for decorations. Some of the girls stepped up to put their outfits together. They worked so hard to make sure it was the best that it could be.

Back to my point, I’m not entirely sure what has happened to me over the last two-and-a-half months. My experience has been totally different from what a tourist would have experienced. I lived in the city. I became a part of it, and it became a part of me. How this will affect me in the future is yet to be determined.

My friend, Ashley, one of my best friends from ISU, came to visit for the last few days. We outwardly processed what we were going through, about our self-discovery within the last year. Both of us have been taken out of our comfort zones to be out on our own in an unfamiliar place. We talked about our personality types and how they apply to our current situations. I am an ISFJ, and she is an INFJ, if you are familiar with Meyers Briggs. (Some people might consider that kind of stuff as hokey, as just another personality test, but it has really helped me understand myself.)

For me, that means that I am:

•       loyal and devoted; always striving for harmony in my surroundings
• a natural mentor; I find great satisfaction in watching and helping other people grow
• conscientious, consistent, and meticulous; I prefer “detail oriented” to the term perfectionist
•       quiet, modest, and reserved (to people who don’t know me, that might come off as “stand-off-ish,” when really I just don’t know how to interact with you upon a first meeting, not that I don’t care)
•       dependable, a high sense of duty and responsibility
• only accepting of the highest standards for myself, and expect for others to be the best they can be; always looking for the best in others
• reluctant to take leadership positions, but I will take one if necessary. I would much rather be a secretary than a president where there are goals and expectations already spelled out—not that I’m lazy and can’t set goals myself, but I’m a GREAT supporter of those in charge. Not everyone can be at the top.
• always thinking in concrete terms (black and white, systematic), rather than abstracts and theories.

You can put “ISFJ” into Google and read about it for yourself.

Each one of those traits can be a strength, and depending on how I handle them, a weakness. For example, consistency is great in some circumstances where it is needed. Consistency can also keep me from branching out and embracing change. ISFJs have a really hard time dealing with change or a deviance from an established system.

Which brings me around to this whole experience. I shoved myself out of my comfort zone by getting on a plane on January 10, 2010 and coming to an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. It was really hard at first. I mean, I wrote about it in one of the first blog posts. But, eventually, I sort of made a system for myself, and after a few weeks, I pretty much adapted. I got to know the people I work with and the students. I eventually settled into the food—and even tried some new things.

Trying new things. I guess that’s a big one for me. I tried congealed pork blood. Cow stomach lining. Squid was even a stretch for me. Oysters. And I even ate mushrooms and liver. If you know me at all, you know that textures bother me. All of these foods have similar textures. Squishy. Ick. But, I tried them, and they weren’t that bad. I mean, I wouldn’t eat pork blood all the time.

I think it’s important for ISFJs like me to step out of our comfort zones. It helps us learn how to deal with change. I mean, I don’t want to change who I am at the core. I like being loyal. I like having a small group of friends. I don’t mind being an introvert (which doesn’t mean I’m a loner—it just means that I need to process things internally and recharge by myself, alone time). I like being detail-oriented. But learning how to deal with change is difficult. It’s not natural for me. I like feeling secure. I guess that’s one thing that coming to Thailand did for me.

Like I said earlier, I lived in the city. I became a part of it, and it became a part of me. I always said that I don’t think I could ever live in the big city. I love being in nature, in the great outdoors with brilliant views. But the city is really not that bad, either. Surprisingly, I did alright. That “S” in ISFJ stands for sensing. I take in information via my five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. The city is full of exciting sights, smells, and sounds. I really enjoyed it. It was like a huge sensory playground. I also appreciated the times when I did get out of the city to visit the countryside.

Another thing that helped me cope with living in the city was the relationships that I formed with my students, the other music professors. I was very blessed to get a view of Bangkok from the inside. I never really felt like a tourist.

Earlier I mentioned that it is hard to cope with change. But on the other hand, part of the fun of living in a new place was figuring out how to get around. Finding where I was on a map. Recognizing places that I had passed before. I like maps. They are black and white and systematic. They work well for my mind.

The one thing I worry about is the temptation to return to “normal,” whatever that “normal” was before I came to Thailand. The thing is, I really don’t have the desire to go back to “normal.” Whatever minute difference has been made, I want to process it and let it do whatever it needs to do within me. It’s very similar to the temptation one might feel after a very intense summer missions trip with a youth group. You come home very affected, and promise yourself that you aren’t going back to the way things were before. And then six months later, you’ve all but forgotten the experience, and it’s almost like you never went at all.

We, as Americans, are spoiled with having things work. We are obsessed with being clean. We are very schedule oriented, our lives run by time. Things don’t always go that way in Thailand. For that reason, we can sometimes dismiss another culture, thinking that ours is “better.” I don’t think that I came into this experience with that mindset, but I am more aware of the fact that Thai culture is just… different. Not better, not worse. Different.

After all, the Thais have been practicing their culture for a lot longer than we have. Their hospitality runs very deeply. I was so impressed with how much respect the students gave me. Even though I am not much older (and probably younger) than some of them, they showed me respect. That’s not me being bigheaded, or to make myself bigger than what I am. But respect is not something American students readily give to their teachers. Go to any American high school. Sit in the cafeteria. Listen to their conversations. You won’t hear a lot of respect.

Don’t get me wrong—I am incredibly proud to be an American. I love our military and will do anything to support our boys. I love the freedom we have. I love the opportunities that I have had in education as a female. But, gosh, we can be so arrogant sometimes.

As a musician… well, this trip has helped me to see even more that I express myself best as a choral singer. I love choir. I can’t say that enough. I love incorporating theory and history into lessons in order to give students a more holistic view of the music they are performing. I love working on phrasing and diction and all of that. Voice matching was awesome. The phenomenon that is the voice never ceases to amaze me. Voice matching is essential for helping a choir’s intonation. It’s kind of like tuning a piano. Before you tune it, the touch is off, and it just doesn’t sound as great. After tuning, the touch is like a dream. Something about the sound waves just makes it easier to play. In the same way, voice matching allows the sound waves to fit in with each other. (See what I mean about being a choral musician? I’m such a nerd!)

The “behind the scene” thing I mentioned was me applying for a music teaching position at a bilingual school near Bangkok. However, the position requires more elementary teaching than I feel comfortable doing. I love little kids, and I loved working at the Center, but I’m not an elementary teacher. After some personal reflection about who I am as a musician and where I want to go professionally, I think that if offered the position, I will decline. I’ve been having a hard time with that. Is that okay? Am I crazy? Getting a job back in the US is going to be rough, though… shouldn’t I take it so that I have some sort of security?

I cannot do something if my heart is not in it. I would rather take a lower paying job if I found it more fulfilling than any higher-paying job where I don’t really care about what I’m doing.

Getting to conduct two concerts has been a blast. I had so much fun at the Thammasat concert. Those students are great and are eager to improve themselves as musicians, even though none of them are music majors. They just love to sing. And this concert at SSRU was so fulfilling in that I got to work with the students from day one. I saw where they struggled and watched them work to improve upon those weaknesses. I saw leaders emerge to step up and help their peers. They, too, really enjoyed performing as a choir, and I sincerely hope they continue what they’ve started.

It’s night time on the plane, and we are crossing the Pacific Ocean. I wish you could look outside my window and see what I am seeing. I can’t see the ocean since it is the middle of the night. But there are clouds, and a slight fog in the distance. The stars can clearly be seen. It looks similar to the Pirates of the Caribbean when they are traveling to Davy Jones’s locker to rescue Jack. It kind of looks like that.

And now the sunrise is starting to appear on the horizon. Quite the view, indeed.

I think I’m all processed out for now. More to come later, I suppose!

Just letting you know that I have updated my Picassa album!

I'm sitting here in my office in between rehearsals. I feel that motivational struggle again. : / I know I posted about this issue a long time ago. You could probably go back and read it again and I might feel about the same.

Life doesn't suck, by any means. I mean, I'm in... Thailand, of all places!

Our concert is this Sunday. I'm just not sure how good it's going to be. These darn red shirts are keeping people from coming to rehearsals. LKASJDFL;KASJDGF;LK4U230ADKNVPQ8U5-Q094UDKFSJGHAO. That's how I feel about it.

Granted, this will be my first concert, where I've picked my own repertoire. And these kids are new to choral singing. So, I know, in the words of the illustrious Dr. Buchanan, that [it's] not supposed to be good yet. The good thing is that they are getting exposure to the world of choral music. The faculty and I have discussed the possibilities of continuing a choir at SSRU.

I've been reluctant to post because I'm working on something behind the scenes that I don't want many people to know about until it's time. Sorry for the lack of updates, but I just want to keep the lid on something.

Whew!!! It's been really busy for the last few days!

Choir practices started this week. We only have two more weeks before the concert. I think we'll be okay, though. It's a good thing that the music students met during the semester because that took care of learning most of the pieces we are doing.

On Friday, Oil and I went shopping. We had a GREAT time. She showed me how to use the sky train and the boat system. Very handy to know!

On Friday night, Fon and I went to the airport to pick up Marcia and Kayla.

On Saturday, we headed south to the beach. Kajohn, Oil, and Fon and his wife came with us. We ate at a sea side restaurant. Fresh sea food is AMAZING!! Pictures to come later.

A Chinese temple was near the restaurant. There were also lots of monkeys at the monastery. Very cool.

That afternoon we headed towards Pattaya. We stopped at a small market and picked up some sticky rice and coconut in a bamboo stalk.

On the beach in Pattaya, they have rows and rows of umbrellas and chairs, and they just leave those up until the sun goes down. We had fresh coconut, the sticky rice, pineapple, and chicken. Very relaxing.

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Today, we went to Ayutthaya in the morning. We rode the elephants!

After lunch we went to Chatuchak, the weekend market. It was not crowded at all, which is not normal by any means...

...because the Red Shirts are protesting this weekend. Bow took us to Chinatown. When we tried to come back, we had to take the loooooonnnnng way around because we couldn't get through some of the streets due to the Red Shirts.

More detail to come later. I'm very tired, so this is very sparse....

This week marked the beginning of choir rehearsals for the performance on March 28th. SHORT TIME to rehearse! But I think it will be alright. Last night I had all of the students, and this morning I got to work with the men. They are a HOOT. So much fun! We are working on an arrangement of "Blow the Man Down."

Later this week my family is coming. I'm very excited to show them around. Fon is working on putting together a plan. I should get some good stuff out of the that.

So, the day we went to Ayutthaya...

We went to an arts and crafts village. This is a project initiated by the Queen. It is a program that teaches how to make arts and crafts to promote the Thai culture, so, like, masks, pottery, textiles, etc. Very neat!

After that, we drove through Ayutthaya. It used to be the capital of the country. There are many ancient ruins there. And elephants. I almost rode one. Time constraints, however, prevented us from actually stopping, so we just circled the area in our bus and went to lunch.

At lunch, we met one of the very important officials of the province. She kind of reminded me of a president's wife. Very gentle. Very beautiful. Very wise. She wanted to take a group photo with us, and they set out a row of chairs. She sat in the middle and invited me to sit by her. She told me I was beautiful. :)

In the afternoon we went to Saraburi, which is a big agricultural province. This is the region where the King started his "New Theory" to revitalize farming and make farmers more successful throughout the whole year, rather than just the rainy season. You can read more about that here.

In the evening we ate at a nice restaurant on the river. I could really get used to that. Fresh seafood... soooooo good.

On Friday, the music department had a voice recital. Since that is my expertise, I went and observed. Interesting, that it was! All sixteen students in the studio (the only studio) sang four songs. In total, there were probably eight or ten songs. They had two accompanists between all of the students, which was different for the brass recital I heard the week or two before. The brass students played along with recordings and midi-piano files. I think the vocal students benefitted from the actual accompanist, and I hope that the brass students follow suit! At any rate, there were students ranging from really good to beginners. They had to memorize their music (as they should!).

What I learned after the fact is that this is only the second semester for voice lessons. The poor professor has only FOUR hours between all SIXTEEN students. *shakes head* I mean, at least they are now offering lessons. But FOUR hours? For SIXTEEN students? Maybe that will change in a few years. I would imagine that the studio itself will become viable in a few years as well. I hope he gets better circumstances!

I performed right at the very beginning. Can't get rusty!

That evening, I attended a farewell dinner for the conference. I got to sit next to the President of the university! :)

On Saturday, most of the professors from ISU left to return to the states. Dr. Kilp, Dr. Aldrich, and Dr. Mitchell stayed to do some more sight-seeing. We took a tour on a river boat with Oil, and then got some lunch down by the river. After that, we went to Wat Pho, the temple with the HUGE reclining Buddha.

We went to Mr. Yao's for dinner. Good, as always!

On Sunday, I went to church with one of my students. Great little church! My student put me into contact with a taxi driver that goes to his church.

On Monday morning, that taxi driver picked me up at my hotel to go to the bus station. That bus drove me six hours to Maha Sarakham, where I was picked up by Panu, who took me to Kylie's house/apartment/island bungalow.

On Tuesday I slept in and met some of the people in Maha Sarakham, including Pok, who is just magical. She is so sweet! She took us to a fish sanctuary just right out of the city. Very quiet, and very beautiful. That night, Kylie and some of her friends and I went out for the evening.

On Wednesday, I rode the bus back to Bangkok. That same taxi driver picked me up and took me back to my hotel. Knowing a taxi driver FTW. :)

Today, Thursday, I worked on selecting some more repertoire for the choir concert at the end of March.

Very eventful last few days!

This week has been quite eventful so far.

A group of professors from ISU and a few other Hoosiers are here at SSRU for a conference. I get to tag along with them for events and meals and such. On Monday evening, I went on a dinner cruise. Had a great time catching up with Dr. Kilp (our horn professor).

On Monday I also gave the final exam for my English for Music course. I just played five different pieces for them to listen and analyze.

On Tuesday morning I taught the last chorus class. Most of those students will stay over to sing in the holiday choir, which excites me a lot. They already know most of two pieces for the concert, and I want to pick out at least one more.

For lunch I went out with Kajohn, Pranote, Prasan, and another professor to Kalaong (the restaurant I went the first week I was here). We were there for quite some time, at least two hours. The food was great, as usual... will have a video of that sometime...

I was tired, so I took a nap in the afternoon after I got back, and then ate dinner at the hotel with the group from ISU.

Today (Wednesday) I went to Samut Songkhorn (I will check on that spelling)--a province to the south of Thailand--with Kajohn, Pranote, and Prasan. We visited one of their colleagues in the hospital, and then ate at this great little restaurant right on the river. FABULOUS sea food... I'll probably have a video of that too, maybe combining both days.

After I got back, I went with the ISU group to eat dinner and watch a puppet show at the Joe Louis Theater. I was very impressed with the show. Their moves are so coordinated and intricate, and the puppets are beautiful. Sorry, no photos or anything--photography wasn't allowed.

I also did some shopping and bought some dresses. Good times. :)

Tomorrow it looks like a trip to Auttaya. Will write about that later.

Last week I assigned a performance project for my English for Music class. For the class itself, I talked about what music is--the product of human creativity, that is, taking sounds and organizing them into art. I would imagine that the majority of their performances were improvised. That works, too, though I was hoping they would work on them during the week and include some sort of object to enhance their compositions. Oh well. We had a good time anyway. :)

This week is the ACDA Central Division convention. Two years ago I attended the conference in Grand Rapids. It was at that conference that, for the first time, I got some sense that I picked the right major. The next year I attended the National Convention, my first out of many to come, I hope. At the convention, I listened to/watched many amazing and memorable and powerful choirs. I picked out my first baton, with some help from Dr. Buchanan--it's bright pink, by the way. No joke. I also met some awesome people, also thanks to Dr. Buchanan, who took me to his alumni receptions. :)

Last week I read an article about the Philly convention. I'm so jealous. Jealous, I tell you.

I wish I could go to the Central Division convention this year. I know I'm here doing this, but knowing that I'm missing such an amazing musical experience is killing me. My week will be filled with listening to my choral pieces over and over again. I might mope around a bit.

Bow and Note took me to Chinatown last night. Here are some videos:

AHHHHH!! That's not a sigh of relief (refer to the former post).

I started looking at job banks because I thought it'd be a good idea. I feel like I have NO idea what I'm doing when it comes to applying for jobs. And applying is going to be difficult from overseas. :/

Ahhhh..... that's a sigh of relief. I have added a picture slide show from Picassa on the side. You can also check out the full album.

Last night I attended a concert put on by the students. They had two rock/pop portions sandwiched around a classical guitar session. I had tons of fun watching them. It almost makes me wish we had such an opportunity to perform together like that at ISU. However, not everyone can play electric guitar, and I certainly can't play the piano or drum. Or electric guitar...

At any rate, I had a good time.

The profound moment, for me, came before the concert, though. I read some of The Robert Shaw Reader whilst I was in the office. Something he said actually made sense (I say that because his verbage is a little more complicated than I care to read during the times at which I choose to read his book--usually in the late evenings):


What is required of the conductor is that he make available and attractive to his co-workers disciplines which educate—not simply dictate, to the end that each person ultimately is capable of accepting his own honest and entire musical responsibility. Granted, it’s the conductor’s job to teach “notes”; much more important is his responsibility to teach ways of learning notes. If two rehearsals on a Benjamin Britten cantata do not short-cut and simplify the problems of learning a Walton cantata, then the conductor also should leave rehearsal at intermission—and stay away.


Big deal, right? What's so important about that?

My impression of Robert Shaw before I started reading this book was that he was a "hard taskmaster." Dr. Carlisle always talks about Shaw because he sang with him. When Dr. C brings up Shaw in rehearsal, some of us members secretly roll eyes at each other and crack a joke after the fact. But something about this man is starting to intrigue me. No wonder he was the most influential American choral conductor to date; his musings on music are very profound and compelling.

The quote above resonated with me because one of the discussions Mrs. Heaton (my supervising teacher at Plainfield HS) and I had was about reconciling performer/conductor vs. educator. I (well, she had the final say, of course) had a tough decision to make about something regarding the winter concert... and that conversation has stuck with me ever since.

A part of that conversation dealt with the mindset of a student/new teacher. I have just ended a wonderful experience--being immersed in post-secondary music studies. Post-secondary choral ensembles are much different from secondary choral ensembles. Students in post-secondary choral ensembles can be expected to be able to learn music quickly (i.e., sing something once and have it down). Students in secondary choral ensembles are different. They (generally) aren't taking theory and skills or music history or even voice lessons in addition to that ensemble, and cannot be expected to synthesize that material in order to become a better musician. Most of their music exposure in school is just that--choir.

So, that makes sense in my head in how what I've been thinking about fits with that quote...

Robert Shaw was a performer, a conductor. I never really thought about him as an educator. But that quote leads me to believe otherwise. I guess that's how it makes sense in my mind. Does that make better sense?

At any rate, at 5 PM, I sat down at the table out in front of the arts building. The classical guitars were practicing their numbers, and then Note started improvising over someone's chord progressions, and it was beautiful, and I was reading more of the Shaw.

And, it hit me.

Music just fits.


I can joke around all I want to, saying, "If I weren't in music, I'd be a geologist," or, "If I weren't studying music, I'd do accounting." Okay, so those aren't really jokes.

But if you knew anything about the first half of my college experience, you'd know that I questioned whether or not I was supposed to study music. Then I got really involved with ACDA my junior year and went to the Central Division convention (which I am missing this year to be here in Thailand--and Chanticleer is performing!!), and something lit inside of me. Senior year was a dream, and I can't tell you how many times I wished I'd not waited so long to become devoted to my studies, to choral music.

My mind can wander around all it wants to about other professions and other paths, but my mind always comes back to music. It just fits. I don't know how I can say it any differently.

Music is where I feel at home. Music is where I retreat to calm my mind when I'm stressed. Music is where I feel most connected to the Divine, where my faith in God feels the strongest. Music doesn't define who I am, but it is a part of me. And it was in that moment that things just made sense.

During the Thammasat concert, so many different things were running through my mind. But when I was up there with the choir, I can't tell you how much fun I had. I can watch that video I posted and see that, yeah, there are things I need to improve upon. Yeah, I could do some things better. I'm sure Dr. Buchanan would point out some aspect of my conducting that we'd tried to eradicate during lessons. But I had fun. That's what mattered at that moment.

And now, I can start working on those things that I saw... those little things can be practiced, but if you're not passionate about it, then none of that matters. Time can fix errors, but time cannot instill passion and drive. Those have to come from yourself, which can be deepened over time.

Anyway, enough rambling, but it was on my mind, so I wanted to get it out. :)

So, finally, my thoughts on the Thammasat Concert.

I have videos down below about it, so you can view them down there. One of them is dress rehearsal and one is the actual encore at the end of the concert.

All I have to say is that I had so much fun when I was on the podium conducting. I can watch the videos now and pick up little things that I need to work on, and sure, that's understandable because I am a young conductor. Those little things will irritate the snot out of me. But, I remember the feeling while I was conducting... it was... fun. Exhilarating. A rush. A high. It felt right.

And two+ years ago in conducting class, you couldn't have told me that I would have fun conducting. In fact, I cried IN CLASS once. It was awful. Conducting doesn't come naturally to me. I have to practice. I don't like that. I get frustrated.

But during the concert, I couldn't think of anything else I'd rather be doing.

I am so thankful for Dr. Buchanan and his mentor-ship of me. I will always be thankful for it. I don't think I could ever express my gratitude to him for allowing Erich (Kendall) and myself to take conducting lessons--even though he was getting no load credit for it, and even though he was extremely busy that semester with traveling and planning conventions and such. He felt we were worth the investment. And that's what makes him a great teacher.

This is a link to a blog post written by someone else, and I thought it was particularly touching.

Nothing major to announce. I'll write about the concert at Thammasat in another post, but this will serve as just a quick check in.

This last weekend I went to the pottery village, which is a huge arts and crafts market. Lots of terre cotta. Lots of food. Lots of fun. Then we went to the HUUUUUUUUUUGE weekend market and shopped.

As usual, I've been trying lots of different foods. I don't like liver much, but I ate a piece of one... I kinda figured that's what it was, but there was no harm in trying. I didn't like it, though. The amazing thing to me is that I'm willing to try.

Do you remember how I said that I wanted to sit down at a restaurant off the street and order? I did that twice last Saturday, and once more during the week. Yay!

Okay... I think I'm all caught up here... Vlog numero uno.

Start with Part 1.

Make sure you start with Part 1.

This is way out of order, but here is Vlog 2 in two parts. It's basically a summary of my first few days here. I'll comment as needed on them... in part 2, the brown crunchy things are slugs. They taste good, but the thought of them being those slimy things crawling on the ground... meh. I'd have to have the dish a coupla more times to convince myself that it's okay to eat them.

If I may be perfectly honest, I had a hard time last week being here in Thailand. Don’t get me wrong. I love it here.

However, I am a creature of habit. My mind works systematically. I hate it because it causes me to love being in a comfortable spot.

I’ll be totally honest, starting with college. Ever since I graduated in December, I’ve had a hard time being motivated to do anything. College was great. I had a schedule to follow. Same classes every week in, week out, same church, same work schedule. But college ended, and so did my routine. My parents might have taken it for laziness when I was home for a few weeks. Okay, so maybe I was a little lazy… but hey, I just made it through four and a half years of school. I think I deserved a little break. Truth is, I didn’t have anything to consume my time. Nothing to keep my hands busy. No schedule to govern how I use my time… so what do I do then? I became listless, almost lifeless, it felt to me. (I did fill the time by watching seasons 3-6 of NCIS on DVD.)

I think the only thing that kept me going in the summers were my working at the computer labs and the community center. I hated the summer in between the spring and fall semester, to tell the truth. I never lived in the same place for two summers in a row. I moved home for a few weeks and then moved back to Terre Haute. I felt like a nomad. Always packing and unpacking boxes, packing and unpacking my car, moving my belongings here and there. I greatly appreciate those people who graciously opened their homes to me, don’t get me wrong. I was just tired of moving. I cried about it one night while visiting my grandma during one summer.

Moving away from home to go to school was such a good thing for me. I was forced to take responsibility for myself. I’m just so tired of MOVING everywhere.

The night before commencement, I sat in Joe’s apartment with Tara, talking about this very subject. “I’m so tired of moving. I want to find a job and stay there for a while,” I told Joe. I hope that whatever job I get, wherever I end up, is a job that I like. I don’t want to take a job for a year as a means for getting something else the next year, or even the year after that. I hate that feeling. My (future) students deserve something better than that. I can’t stand doing something halfway.

So what does this have to do with Thailand?

Last week I had a hard time, like I said. Here I am, in an exotic, foreign place, without even the OPTION of going back home, not for a few months at least. I can’t go to Applebee’s and get the BBQ pulled pork sliders with the amazing garlic mashed potatoes and raspberry iced tea. Every day is filled with new culinary wonders--you would think that I would love it. And I do. I hope that is evident from the food vlogs and pictures. Please don’t misunderstand. I guess that the thing I am missing is consistency, a constant. And I’m not just talking about the food. I don’t have a set schedule for every day, so it’s easy to just sit around and be lazy.

Luckily, another professor from ISU is here. Besty, from the College of Nursing. I’ve talked about her before. It’s nice to see a face from home. We frequent a restaurant that is across the street from us in the alley (as well as the hotel’s restaurant). Rai’s place, we call it. It’s a quaint little place with white tables and walls. She serves specialty coffees and ice cream, as well as some great dishes. The other night I had fish and chips (what can I say? Close to home! And come on, I try something new just about every day… so I think I can afford to have a dish from home). The thing is just that: we go quite often. Thus far, about twice a week.

Tonight (Tuesday) I didn’t know what I was going to do for dinner. I don’t want to get into a “consistency rut” and go the same places all the time. Believe me, I am fighting this complacency thing. Thing is, I just don’t know where else to go, and what places are good to eat at by myself—mostly due to the language barrier. So… I decided I would just go to Rai’s. Betsy is out for the week in another part of the country, and those fish and chips were calling my name.

Rai knows me by name now. I walked in, and it was like she was looking for me. As much as I don’t want to get stuck going to the same places all the time, I’m glad I went. I knew she would take care of me. As I waited for my food, she chatted with me a little bit. Then she brought out some fruit that had been boiled in sugar. It was sort of like a cross between a cherry and cranberry—sweet and with a small pit. I didn’t get the fish and chips, though. Don’t worry. I had stir-fried chicken with basil and rice. After I paid the bill, Rai gave me a small bag filled with the candy-like fruit. How kind! I can’t get over the hospitality of the Thai people.

After I left the restaurant, I did go to a street vendor and order an ear of corn. The corn here is, like, 10 times better than fair corn.

I must say, I am growing accustomed to the spiciness of the food. I don’t mind it as much. A non-spiced dish almost tastes bland without even a little bit of flare to it.

This week seems to be better for me. I feel a little more adjusted. It might have helped that I rode a bus on Saturday—by myself—to MBK, the HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE shopping mall downtown. I walked around the mall by myself. I’ve never had a problem doing something by myself. But when it came to getting back to campus, I ran into some difficulties. I thought I could take a certain bus back to campus, and the bus attendant, who could only speak very little English, told me that that bus didn’t go back to campus (but it picked me up at the bus stop right outside the gate??? That doesn’t add up!). So I got off the bus. I started to freak out, so I walked around for a bit to try to figure something out. Because the bus attendant couldn’t speak English, he didn’t bother to try to tell me what bus I should take. I’m sure you can imagine how I felt—a young woman by herself on the streets of Bangkok. Eventually I thought that surely the mall has information about busses, so I asked, and they were able to direct me to the correct number.

Being thrust out of my comfort zone of consistency, while it is extremely comfortable, is a good experience, I know. All of this discomfort will be worth it on the other side.

By the way, I finally had some fresh coconut. They cut a hole in the top, give you a straw, and you drink the milk on the inside. Well, it’s more like water that is coconut flavored. Then, after you drink the juice, you get a spoon and carve out the flesh. VERY good. It’s very different from going to the store and buying a bag of shredded coconut (which is also very good). And any dessert with coconut milk is absolutely to DIE for. I definitely recommend it.

I uploaded my photos to flickr. Check 'em out!!

On the way home to Bangkok, we stopped at Sam Chuk market. It's been around for 100 years.

Several of the male students walked around with me. They mostly wanted to practice their English. We had a good time.

I've see these students and professors around campus in the last few days. So funny... I walk by, and the students yell out, "Teacher! Teacher!!" :D Good to see them.

Day 2 of English Camp in Suphan Buri:

This morning I drank two cups of coffee. My stomach doesn't take too kindly to it!

I feel like waxing profound this morning. I am slowly learning "Thai time" -- late. I was told about it, but to experience it is quite different. Last night, Chaiwot told me to be ready at 7:30 this morning. So I left my room -- by the way, they let me have a room t myself - at 7:30ish and waited. I walked by the other rooms. No sign of life. For whatever reason, I feared that that they had left me. Breakfast was to be at 8. 7:45 -- still nothing. After 8, one of the professors came around the corner of my car port. "Teresa, come drink some coffee with us. Are the others awake?" I wasn't sure. We chatted as I sipped down two cups of coffee (mistake! Today, for the first time since I've been here, my digestive system is out of sorts, which might have had to do with the coffee).

Finally, Chaiwot drove by at about 8:15. :)

"This side is about 300 baht, and your room is 330 baht. Do you know why?" the professor asked. I didn't know. "The toilet seat. My side has a traditional Thai toilet."

At that moment, I was so humbled. They let me have a room to myself, which cost more because of the toilet seat, while the female students slept four to a room, and these two had a "lesser" toilet. This isn't about the toilet seat, though. These people have done nothing but been hospitable, accommodating, kind. They ahve welcomed me into their world, a foreigner, a farong, gave me a room to myself, and I have the nerve to complain about their lack of promptness or the fact tht they answer their cell phones in class, mind you, or that they don't flush toilet paper, or even don't have some readily available sometimes, or that there are ants in my room.

I think, for the Thai people, it's more about enjoying others' company rather than being on time. (Later note -- I kind of addressed this in a previous blog in regards to class time...) At home, tardiness is severely discouraged. To me, being late communicates that one doesn't care enough about commitments to honor them. I know this is not their intent (the Thais, that is), but it is very easy to rub me the wrong way.

It's not that I didn't appreciate before. I just didn't realize. Maybe now I will appreciate with greater awareness.

This morning's breakfast was quite delightful. I drank a sweet, warm, soy milk, with some sort of jelly seed thing. I also had a Chinese doughnut. It's kind of like ours, but maybe more like a French Beignet. We discussed the differences in how our cultures regard teachers. Amy (one of the professors who teaches English) explained that today is Teacher's Day and gave me a beautiful, little floral zipper bag.

Currently I am sitting on a balcony, enjoying some Chrysanthemum tea in the cool breeze beneath a palm tree.

This evening we went to a nearby dam. Quite majestic. So beautiful. And it smelled great... nearby they burn sugar cane to make sugar, and you could smell it. There are these mysterious black ashes around Suphan Buri, and I couldn't figure out what they were or where they were coming from. That answered my question.

The students also worked on a few dramas in English, and I had to judge their performances that evening. I was thoroughly impressed with what they could do in three hours. Drama and dance are very important in this culture.

Day 1 of the English camp in Suphan Buri:

I arrived at camp shortly after it started. The students were working at different stations, which covered different aspects of the English language, such as vocabulary, actions, and asking others to do something. At one station, the teacher said, “In English, you say Autumn, and in American you say Fall.” Interesting distinction I’ve never thought about before. It makes sense, though, considering that Thailand belonged to the British for a while.

After dinner, we moved to activities that included line dancing (great for learning right, left, and directions), fashion, and Karaoke. What a blast! I sat at the fashion station for the first rotation, but then I moved the Karaoke station when I started hearing music. Couldn’t resist. Eventually I started being goofy and let loose. The students and I had a great time singing “You Are Not Alone” (Michael Jackson) and “When You Say Nothing At All” together.

That evening I judged the fashion show and Karaoke competition. What a BLAST!! Video to come soon…

I will post about Suphan Buri soon.

I would like to blog about something, though, while it is fresh in my mind.

At the English camp, I taught the Hokey Pokey. What a genius song for English learners! They learn right, left, in, out, front, back, hand, foot, head, shake, turn... so many good things to teach with this song! Plus, they get a kick out of how silly it is. I also taught this to the English for Music class today. What a HOOT! Haha... I tell them that it's a party song, and we sing it whenever we roller skate. XD It's true, though! I will post a video of the English camp in a few days when I have more free time (after Tuesday, because I taught all afternoon and I have choir tomorrow morning). I may teach it to the choir tomorrow just as an ice breaker. The students seem to like it a lot.

The English for Music class went very well. The students are shy, but eager to learn. You'll see in my upcoming Suphan Buri blogs about my concern for the... lack of punctuality. To my surprise, the students were reprimanded for being tardy. They were made to stand up in front of the class and give me a reason for being late. If they were late because of lunch, I just laughed and said, "Eat earlier!" Mostly what I did for the class was read a paper on Mozart. Their teacher, Tor, speaks English very well, but he wants them to hear a native speaker. So I read each word and they repeated it. The sounds which give them the most trouble are 'ch,' 'v' and 'r.' They also have a problem with ending consonants. It's just not a part of their language. I had a hard time learning how to sing in German, so I definitely remember what they are going through.

Today, after the English class, I left with Fon to go to a nearby university. I will be a guest conductor for their upcoming choir concert. I must say, I am so impressed with the responsiveness of these students. You give them an instruction, and they immediately implement it. On top of that, I was able to layer instructions... meaning, I would tell them to work on something, and then I was able to add something else to it, and they were able to perform both tasks, and then I could add a third, and they could retain it all. Wow! That's a very hard thing for American students to accomplish! What a dream for any choral director to have.

Afterward, a few of the students and Fon took me to the night market. Picture junk food alley, only 10 times healthier and 10 times more food. My first dish of pad thai... very good! Pictures to come soon!

That's it for now. I'm very tired! Must get sleep!

This weekend I was invited to go to an English camp in Suphan Buri. I will just be enjoying the time there, participating with the students, and sightseeing. I am very excited! Oil came to the hotel last night with some other professors, and this was all set up within 15 minutes. That's how the Thais do things, I'm told. :)

On Tuesday, I met John, Fon, and Pranote and Pasahn and they showed me around the music floor. Then we went for a delightful lunch at a restaurant on the river (its name means literally “On the river”). They dishes we ate were all quite delicious. The pineapple is quite heavenly. Much sweeter than what we have in America! “Maybe this won’t be so bad after all!” I remember thinking. The music professors are also very delightful. They are very close, like brothers. John likes to drink beer with every meal. They told me that they want this to be like my home. I have enjoyed it so far, that’s for sure!

After that, Fon took me to exchange my money. They had taught me how to say thank you (kob-kun ), and I said that to the nice man who exchanged my money. He told Fon that I have very good diction and I am very polite. Fon took me to buy a cell phone and a bilingual map so I can find my way around. He had to change the settings on my phone to English because everything was in Thai. Then he took me to the Ministry of Health (a district within the city) because his mother had to go to the hospital and she needed her ID card. After that I came back to my hotel to sleep for the night.

On Wednesday, I went to my office to talk about my assignment with Fon. I LOVE it! On Mondays, I will teach an English for Music class from 13:00-15:30 (1 – 3:30 PM). On Tuesday mornings I will teach a chorus from 8:30-11 AM. I will also be responsible for meeting with students to “advise” them if they have any problems and scheduling rehearsals for the choir outside of class time to prepare for a concert in March. Eventually I will create a workshop for the choral directors in the area. Fon wants me to sing for another concert of his, and possibly conduct his choir.

I met some of the students. They don’t seem all that different from American students in that they like to hang out together and make jokes. More on them later!

I went to lunch with the music professors again. We went to Mr. Yao’s, which happens to be Dr. Kilp’s favorite restaurant. It’s not hard to see why it’s his favorite. The food was delicious! I even tried some of the spicy dishes. One thing that I’m learning about Thai food is that you dip everything in something. :)

In the evening I went with Betsy Frank (who teaching in the College of Nursing at ISU) to a small café-type restaurant and had stirfry chicken with garlic. VERY good! I even tried some of her stirfry beef with basil, and accidentally ate one of the chili peppers. SPICY!!!! Then I had some coconut ice cream. It tastes very different from our concept of coconut. Rai, the shop owner, was very polite. She likes to practice her English with her patrons. As we walked down the alley, the smell from the food carts was very overwhelming. Betsy bought me some popcorn.

I have some videos from these days, but I am having difficulty uploading them. I will work on getting those up. :)

Thursday:

So…. I think if there were an award for the “Best Farong,” I would totally win it.



Today I met some of the students. While I was waiting to meet with one of the professors, one girl recognized me from yesterday. She and I conversed for about an hour. She is very shy, but eager to practice her English. Other students stopped to meet me, and I talked with them as well.

Betsy and I went to the market to buy some groceries for me to keep in my room, and then we ate dinner at the hotel. I had a very delicious desert:

As I am writing, I am sitting in a hotel in Detroit, MI. Somehow, I still haven't gotten that I will be leaving the country for a few months.

I will admit, I am kind of freaked out by the idea of teaching at the university level. I would feel very differently if I had two or three years' experience, but as of right now, I have zilch. However, I am continually being told that SSRU is very excited to have me as a guest. I probably worry a lot more than I should.

The next time you hear from me, I will be in Thailand. Here it goes!!

By the way, I took some footage today for a video, so look for that soon. :)